i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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