the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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