Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
