Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
