hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
