Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
