hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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