Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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