So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
