i think my mom watched the whole time
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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