Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
