i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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