i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize