does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize