i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
