Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
