So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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