Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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