So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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