You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
