Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

she kept yelling 'call me bella'

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(718): View more from New York

"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

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(562): View more from California

he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him

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(361): View more from Texas

I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character

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(812): View more from Indiana

there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.

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(631): View more from New York

I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.

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(847): View more from Illinois

He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.

(312): View more from Illinois

So... He's a barber?

(847): View more from Illinois

No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?

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(675): View more from

He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.

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