I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
