wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
