I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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