i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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