dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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