The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
