dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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