You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
