Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I see more hoeing in ur future
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