I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
