We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
