At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize