Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
