Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
