So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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