so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
