I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize