spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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