i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
