thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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