So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
