Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sexywetlovvaa hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(575): View more from New Mexico

The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"

Fav 18 13373 1547
share tweet
(415): View more from California

i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.

Fav 1 2508 1131
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(620): View more from Kansas

The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".

Fav 23 5304 1553
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?

Fav 22 1057 2886
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night

Fav 11 2890 1732
share tweet
(229): View more from Georgia

Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.

Fav 8 1522 842
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

Are you texting, crying and driving?

(216): View more from Ohio

And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.

Fav 0 535 733
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(319): View more from Iowa

I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.

Fav 0 38 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.

Fav 0 73 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT