a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
