this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
