Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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