What a fucking waste of an outfit
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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