i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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