There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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