hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
