I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You ate ashes out of my bong
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
