I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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