They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
