covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
