Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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