I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize