ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
A+ Viking dick
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
