help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
