So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
