I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
