How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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