your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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