Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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