whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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